A very special moment...

"Music Of My Heart"

You'll never know
What you've done for me
What your faith in me
Has done for my soul...

You'll never know
The gift you've given me..I'll carry it with me (yeah...yeah...)
Through the days ahead
I think of days before
You made me hope for something better (yes you did)
And made me reach for something more

You taught me to run
You taught me to fly
Helped me to free the me inside
Help me hear the music of my heart
Help me hear the music of my heart
You've opened my eyes
You've opened the door
To something I've never known before
And your love...(love)
Is the music of my heart.. (music of my heart)

You were the one
Always on my side (always on my side)
Always standing by (always standing by)
Seeing me through
You were the song that always made me sing
I'm singing this for you (singing this for you baby)
Everywhere I go
I think of where I've been (think of where I've been)
And of the one who knew me better
Than anyone ever will again

You taught me to run
You taught me to fly
Helped me to free the me inside
Help me hear the music of my heart
Help me hear the music of my heart
You've opened my eyes
You've opened the door (you opened the door)
To something I've never known before...
And your love...(your love)
Is the music of my heart

What you taught me
Only your love could ever teach me
You got through when no one could reach me
Ohh...ohh...ohh
Cause you always saw in me
All the best that I could beIt was you who set me free...

You taught me to run
You taught me to fly
Helped me to free the me inside (me inside)
Help me hear the music of my heart
Help me hear the music of my heart

You taught me to run
You taught me to fly
Helped me to free the me inside (me inside)
Help me hear the music of my heart (music of my heart)
Help me hear the music of my heart
You've opened my eyes
You've opened the door (opened the door)
To something I've never known before (never, never, felt before)
And your love...Is the music of my heart..
Music of my heart
Music of my heart
Is the music of my heart...

Right or wrong?

What governs right or wrong?
When a decision or an action is done not in sync with your beliefs - it's wrong?
When otherwise - it's right?

For a friend .....

To a friend that....

walk with me when I'm alone.
talk to me on the way home.
guide me when I'm lost.
hold me when I'm bushed.
hug me when my world collapse.
encourage me when my motivation lapse.

Thank you :)

I saw a real cat....

I was walking past a coffee shop at Boon Keng when I spotted this cat. I was curious why the cat attracted so many stares from the patrons of the shop. Then it dawn onto me that the kitty had a rat in it's mouth. The rat gave a faint squeal before succumbing to it's fate. Wow, just when I thought there's not real cat in Singapore....

A Dream...

I dreamt of Pebble last night.
I dreamt that I found her.
I dreamt that I cuddled her.
I dreamt that I played with her.
I dreamt of her pointed ears.
I dreamt of her little barks.
But it's only a dream.....

Lecture on Grief, Loss & The Language of Pain

What is grief?

Is it extreme sadness in brief?

Is it something that occurs only when we bereave?

Grief, a complex physical, emotional and social exhibition of pain.

When the sense of loss is too much to contain.

Communication is hindered by the language of pain.

Though the former is essential to ease the emotional rain.

The construct of pain is love.

Lost love constitutes extreme heart strain.

Lamenting in the strain, you will start to regain.

The journey of healing is something you can ascertain.

You will be alone in this journey.

But we can ensure that it won't be lonely.

Because the language of pain is such an irony,

eventually it will find a comforting destiny.

That, is my learning of Grief, Loss and the language of pain.

Silent Despair

I came across this passage online. Was touched and saddened. Despair and helpless were my sense. A silent prayer for you, my friend (whoever wrote this....)

Who is that in the mirror,whose face look very familiar,
but yet it is a different face,one that has fallen out of grace.
What is my tomorrow?Is it none but sorrow?
I’m no longer the person I used to be,
I’ve become a monster - a banshee.
My anger, my emotions I can no longer contain,
my every reactions I can no longer restrain.
Why does this have to happen to me?
No one can answer, cos no one can see.
Plans I once had remained as intentions,
I cannot visualise it becoming actions.
I am defeated through and through,
being played around like a fool.
In hell I have stayed for two years now.
Eternity in hell… could be anytime now.

Sick.

I am sick. Down with flu and cough. Had a bad headache too with all the coughing. I don't like the feeling of being sick. After the all the medication, you just feel so weak. Especially the flu medication where it makes one in drowsy state the whole day :(.

But, being sick can also make one feels loved and warm :) You get text messages that check if you are alright, if you have seen a doctor, if you have taken lunch, if you can eat Twisties :P

I was very afraid to fall sick when I was in Moscow. Simply because, unlike Singapore, you cannot just walk into a clinic. And half the time, the more renowned ones will reap you off like nobody's business. Here in Singapore, a day of mc may not be a bad thing. At least I get some good rest :)

Beauty of motherhood

This is not a calling of my maternal instinct. I was looking through the photos I took yesterday and these 3 caught my eyes particularly. Aren't the girls beautiful? I mean both mothers and daughters. Natural beauty is the most beautiful form of beauty isn't it?

Looking at this collage, I can't help but be reminded of our Cedar days. We were young, we were fun, we were unaccomplished then. Though life has changed, this family has expanded, ties still remains.

A Sweet Message

Line sent me this sms last night;

Line: Boy, do you love Ganma and Aunty Jenny?
Fu: Only Ganma
Line: Why?
Fu: Because Ganma loves me.
Line: Aunty Jenny loves you too.......

Oh...how I love my boy :)

Kidz' Day Out

It's one of those Sat mornings. The usual gang had decided a get-together at my place. This time with Fu and family. Swimming was the day's highlight. Here are some memories.....

I wonder if they will all grow up to be best of friends. It would be so wonderful.....that they have one another too :)

Drifting Life

There is this nagging feeling to give more meaning to my life. Many people, at this juncture, would suggest having a baby. That's not what I am referring to. I have always wanted to start my voluntary work but somehow it didn't happen. As with many things in my life, it's procrastination. I vision I can devote my services in many areas but I just didn't get started with any. I guess that's the failure part in my character. I honestly do not like this bit of myself. Maybe it's about getting out of comfort zone, maybe it's about laziness, whatever is the reason or rather, excuse, it's probably time to do something about it.

I asked, sometimes: "Have I touched?" "Have I helped?" "Have I extended my support?" "Have I listened?" "Have I cherished?" or "Am I just taking life for granted?"

What do you find in office?

We spend at least 8 hours in office. It is therefore unavoidable that we will want to personalise that little 2m x 2m cubicle. Do not underestimate this little square. It is an office, a retreat corner, a meeting room, a display of individualism, a box to think out of the box, a haven for ideas and a private space for a little peace in office. Here's taking a peep at what me and my colleagues have in office.

Rainy weekend...

This weekend is a rainy one. I always like rainy days (but not rainy nights). Especially when my mood is not at it's best. The sound of raindrops and the grey skyline make me feel peaceful. I wanted to capture the scene from my tiny living room window. Droplets of rain streaming down the panel, masking the prematurely lit HDB blocks in the background. I wish I have better skills to capture something this beautiful.

Life is fragile

Beep! The familiar message tone of my hand phone went off. I had to read and, read the message again. A friend from Moscow just pass on. A sudden and shocking news for he is not an old man. Neither was he illness stricken. The folks in Moscow suspected that it was probably a fatal asthma attack.

It's a strange feeling to know a friend had died. Though not close, we were once companions in a foreign land. Maybe Moscow had become a second home to him but I can't help but feel sad that he died alone or at most, just with his girlfriend by his side.

May you rest in peace, Walter.

Making Mistakes...

Though to err is human, I wonder how much lee-way am I given. I am frustrated with myself for making silly mistakes at work and I think they can be avoided. How many times can you say sorry? How long does it takes for credibility to go down the drain? Truly, I must admit that I am not a meticulous person. And it didn't help with early onset of amnesia. Disappointed...with myself.

Going down the wrong path...

How do you extend your hand to someone in need?
How do you reach out for someone in pain?
How do you pull back someone heading down the wrong lane?
How do you know it's too late?
How do you point the responsibility to someone already in pain?
Ever be in the situation where you see someone heading the wrong path but there's no way you can steer them back?

Health...something not to be undermine!

It was a normal night out with friends. We had dinner and since Mind's Cafe next door was available, we popped in for a couple of hours of fun. Just when we were finishing our session and contemplating if we should extend it, Jenny stood up and complained that she had problem hearing from her left ear. She then proceeded out of the cafe thinking that a quieter environment would resume back her hearing. But vomit and fainting spells followed instead. Within minutes, I saw my friend "crumbled" helplessly. She was not able to move. Any small movement would cause an exponential turmoil in her brain which would then trigger more vomiting. We were as helpless as her so the ambulance was our safest bet.

We couldn't help but wondered what happen. She was her perfectly fine self the entire evening and within minutes, she was totally helpless. It was frightening to see my dear friend in this state. Especially when she is one of the fittest among us. Seeing her being totally consumed by this sudden freak incident makes me feel that we are so fragile. Thank God she is recovering fast.

Early Onset of Amnesia....

I am getting worried about my brain development, or should I say brain "deprovement" recently. I seem to be suffering from Amnesia. Since my return from Moscow, I find myself being very forgetful. I used to think highly of my incredible memory but not anymore. I thought to myself that it could be due to stress but now that the major projects are over, the condition has not improved. Should I seek medical help? Should I take more Omega 3 tablets? This is definitely not a case of being pregnant! What could be the cause?

Money No Enough...

Too many things to buy....too little $$. Here's my shopping list:
a. handphone - the current one is going to retire
b. clothes - no woman will think she had enough of them
c. camera - I think I have outgrown the current camera that I have. I am still hoping, wishing and dreaming for a free DSLR
d. a bigger house - my shipment from Moscow came last Sunday. My, I sure have lots of stuff.
f. tour - planning for a tour with some friends and wish for a money plant, one that I can pluck $50 notes from
.........................................and the list just goes on......................